If You Date Someone Who Was Married Before They Should either Have Divorced or Filed For Divorce

If you date someone who was married before they should either have divorced or filed for the divorce.

Perhaps the other person has long moved on but has this person done likewise themselves?

People have made the mistake of believing someone is available just because it is clear the other union died without knowing that not everyone who comes from a union is ever the same again.

Some people have given up on trusting and building again. They will get excited for you for a while then get bored after using you.

One sign that someone still has the fervor and energy for relationships is what they have done to free themselves up.

If they have left the matter sit unattended for years it means either they’ve not really let go or they’re not ready to move on. If you get involved with such a person they’ll just waste your time or you’ll be waiting for years.

They’ll just continue with their procrastination. A person who has decided to move on will take action to disentangle themselves from the past marriage.

Don’t listen to the common but lame excuse of ‘I didn’t start the process of dissolving the former union because I wasn’t dating yet.’ Which should come first? You want a decisive person.

African couple having relationship problems, Cape Town, South Africa

As for the reasons why they parted ways, the person will always give you a version that favors them. Be sure to corroborate that information before committing.

Obviously, you don’t go around investigating them openly among their contacts. They’ll mostly learn of it and get repulsed. You must spy but in a very subtle way.

Sometimes it’s not possible to lay hold of a person from their family or their friend group who can give you information.

But if you observe the person you can read subtle but telling signs. Are they free to be seen with you by friends and places where they hang out? If they’re lying they’ll avoid that lest someone divulge the truth to you.

Also, if you observe how they interact with people when you’re around you can see either that they’re free or they’re tense.

Be watchful more so when you’re both around people who know them. Are they so careful that they cannot even go to the washroom and leave you with someone on the table lest you get told something? Do they hurry up and make the two of you leave when someone in their circles shows up or do they relax and introduce you with ease?

Body language and small mannerisms can reveal lies.

Lastly, some people have mastered the art of deception and you must listen to your guts. You may not have all the time to research but you must pay attention to whether your spirit feels either at ease or troubled.


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