Saying No to Premarital Sex Earns You Respect, Not Rejection – Benjamin Zulu

Just a reminder to ladies who keep asking why the man lost interest or stopped calling after you had sex – men lose respect for you after having sex with you.

They know men are always asking for sex and they wonder how many you’ve been giving it to and if he were to marry you how many you would continue giving it to.

True, you did it both of you and it seems unfair to think of you any lesser than he thinks of himself. But the catch is that mating is controlled by females.

If you don’t allow it, it won’t happen even if they ask.

Another fear is that women are generally more secretive than men and once he sees what it takes to get you to bed, he knows the human jungles have other men who can do the same and you’re capable of hiding it for years.

Men’s behaviors are paternalistic and predictable while women can keep deep things and new behaviors inside for a long time.

So since he knows it’s an uphill task to figure out his woman, he’d rather marry one who is too principled to take to bed outside marriage.

In sum, saying no to premarital sex earns you respect, not rejection.

Those who lash out were not serious with you in the first place, and even if you gave in, they still would leave afterward because then you would appear common.

Once lust has been satisfied it turns into hatred. Amnon hated Tamar more than he had desired her after sleeping with her. (2 Samuel 13:15)


  1. What you said may be very true in the 80s or earlier..but in this era….it is becoming less and less true. Otherwise, why do you see so many prosmiscuous women still happily married to the men of their dreams, and the decent goodly two shoes virgins remaining unhappily single and virgins for the rest of their lives. The truth is many men no longer want to marry chaste women and prefer someone with prior experience. Nowadays, the only men who want virgins are usually not sexually confident themselves, impotent, or looking for an 18 year old. Only a small minority of men are like Tim Tebow or AC Green who were deliberately saving themselves for marriage and knew what they was doing. Tough luck for older virgins who have the self respect..,these are he ones who get rejected more imho.. Something doesn’t quite add up

    While I wish what you say is true in todays world…..but I am seeing the contrary.
    I am inclined to think that a virgin past a certain age has almost 0% of being married, as there isn’t even a chance for any relationship to start in the first place.
    But once he/she manages to lose his/her virginity somehow, the chance of being married increase to 50%. Either the relationship breaks up after sex, like what you described. Or on the flip side, the pre marital sex leads to an eventual marriage like what I have observed in many many couples, Christian’s included.

    Please don’t give false hope to the celibate that they still have a chance of meeting the right one. Instead write on how older celibates can remain happily single for the rest of their lives, these are the ones who are constantly rejected by men and seen as defective especially if still virgins past a certain age.

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