Have you ever encountered a situation where you look at the person you used to run after and you want to make an immediate appointment with an eye doctor because you can’t figure out what you used to see in them?
Well, many people have been through this situation, some once, and others multiple times.
This is a feeling that Benjamin Zulu, a Counseling Psychologist notes comes when the fog of infatuation finally clears “and you wake up as if from sleep you can only hope you didn’t get too committed during that time.”
Where do these irrational emotional attachments come from? Zulu asks. They come from unmet needs, suppressed desires, and unconscious compulsions, he answers.
“Perhaps you were hurt in the past and instead of healing you shut down and denied that you still need love,” the Counseling Psychologist points out.
According to Zulu, failure to heal from a relationship that had you hurt is one of the reasons you are getting swept away uncontrollably by people who are not even trying to win you or who are not even available “because you suppressed your feelings you have no control of them.”
Another reason could be your childhood life. Zulu explains that “perhaps you were deprived of love and validation as a child and you keep falling in love with anyone who strikes the pose of the parent whose love you missed.”
To avoid getting swept away by the wrong people, including those that are even not serious, you need to fix any past love issues or unsolved and pending matters in your love-life or from the past.
“As a rule, if you don’t address your emotional imbalances your relationships life will undress them. And the scene will be ugly. There’s no running away from yourself so you might as well face what you need to face.”
– Counseling Psychologist Benjamin Zulu.
