By George Misati
Masturbation is the activity that involves touching the genitals or other sensitive areas of the body for sexual arousal or pleasure.
As taboo as the term has been considered in the African setting in the recent past, ‘masturbation’ is slowly becoming a cool thing to mention in Kenya.
Youthful netizens have created memes and if you are an online user, you might have come across the term ‘kunyonga’.
It’s even harder for a young male to visit a store and ask for petroleum jelly (Arimis) as it’s associated with facilitating masturbation aka ‘kunyonga’.
As many youths consume online research a lot, there are lots of myths and misconceptions supporting the shameful act.
I reiterate it’s cool nowadays to mention it but still, it’s associated with shame for those who are exposed as serial masturbators.
Why do people masturbate?
Sexual Orientation
“Discovery stage is usually at poverty coupled with lots of experiments”
During puberty, teens experience sexual feelings. Therefore, there’s a lot of experimenting when it comes to releasing sexual tensions.
At this stage, a teen might have not sharpened their seduction skills well to woe a member of the opposite sex into pleasuring them.
That might lead to them touching themselves frequently inducing self-pleasure. This kind of pleasure might override the pleasure that comes from sexual intercourse with the opposite sex and one risks sinking deep into addiction.
Addiction to Pornography
“Exposure to Internet and gadgets that support Internet make it easier to access adult content”
With the inception of the Internet and Smart gadgets like mobile phones and laptops, adult content creators created websites that showcase nudity, and sexual fantasies all in the quest to entertain and educate adults on improving their sexual lives.
Unfortunately, in Kenya, those sites are not regulated and therefore, any owner of a gadget is a click away from viewing porn.
The adult videos trigger dopamine creating the need to reach climax. For men, it’s known as ejaculation.
Without a sexual partner in the vicinity, ejaculation can only be achieved by masturbating.
To Relieve Stress
Just like drug addicts who abuse drugs for a variety of reasons among them to relieve stress, serial masturbators also pursue the same.
Unfortunately, just like for drug abusers, a problem postponed is a problem unsolved. Relapse is inevitable.
To induce sleep
The end product of masturbation is exhaustion. If it is at the night, exhaustion is cured by a good night’s sleep. Some people can’t catch a nap before ejaculation.
To Fulfil Sexual Fantasies
This reason is common for pornography consumers. Adult content websites offer a variety of characters to suit a variety of fantasies. Consumers may end up virtually having sex with people they admire but have never met.
What are the effects of masturbation?
Deciding whether to masturbate or not is a personal choice. However, masturbating may have several positive effects, including boosting hormones and chemicals that promote positive emotions, feelings, and sensations.
There are limited studies on the benefits of masturbation, but there are studies on sexual intercourse and stimulation.
Research suggests that sexual stimulation, including stimulation through masturbation, may help you relieve built-up stress, sleep better, boost mood, prevent anxiety and depression, offer relaxation, feel pleasure and enjoyment and release sexual tension.
Masturbation also comes with downsides that include:
Guilt
“In the aftermath, you wonder why you did it.”
It is an unwritten norm that self-pleasure is “dirty” and “shameful.” This is at least according to the common cultural and religious beliefs we share.
As serial masturbators, one might be hiding, and no one sees them but immediately after achieving climax, they wonder why they were doing what is not deemed normal by society.
Just like a victim of cigarette and alcohol addiction, a victim of masturbation might be yearning to stop but they end up relapsing. They, therefore, are in a cycle of guilt.
Addiction to masturbation
You are simply addicted to masturbation if you keep relapsing. You may be spending too much time masturbating if it causes you to skip chores, miss work, skip classes, run away from friends and family, and miss important social events when you are not a natural introvert.
Strained Romantic Life
“You are virtually elsewhere but physically in a relationship .”
Self-pleasuring may also harm your romantic relationships as your end goal will just be ejaculation not caring about your partner achieving satisfaction.
Again, you may live trying to find time alone so as to enjoy what is truly pleasurable to you.
Objectification of The Opposite Gender
Self-pleasuring usually will give rise to individuals who see nothing else in the opposite sex other than fantasizing about sexual contact with them.
The former will not be able to focus on any meaningful talks with the latter which may lead to them coming across as creepy at times.
Loss of Self Esteem
After ejaculation, the actor may have difficulties mingling with the opposite gender as they keep getting rid of their prime motivation.
Also, the guilt factor keeps haunting them as they know that even if they are accepted, they’ll have to achieve their desire by sneaking away to masturbate a little.
Erectile Dysfunction
It is debatable that for men, self-pleasuring for extended periods of time leads to difficulties in achieving a full erection as the perpetrator has fully exploited their sensory nerves.
Loss of Confidence
High testosterone levels in men have often been associated with the will to succeed in life.
Frequent ejaculation is said to be laziness and reluctance to pursue their purpose as the level of testosterone, which is the source of male energy, has dwindled.
Men who masturbate are said to be less motivated in pursuing anything.
How to Escape Masturbation
Stopping masturbation might be a walk in the park on paper but as long as there’s no willpower to stop, the victim will keep relapsing.
Again, it requires one to get rid of triggers such as pornography materials, seclusion and provoking entertainment materials such as obscene movies, magazines and music.
Sinking into meaningful hobbies might also help a great deal because they compensate for times that the victim is idle.
You may start exercising, going for runs, spending time around people, going for walks, all these to minimise lone time.
There’s also a spiritual perspective to masturbation but since I’m not well vested in that, I leave it for another article.
